I haven't posted because well I've been busy. I've been running a household with two young kids and recently we added a puppy which has increased my already high responsibilty level. My husband has been deployed for a long time and now that we're nearing the end I should feel relieved but I don't. I feel more stressed than ever.
Not necessarily stressed because he's coming home and there will be a transition period or because I'm worried about how being at war will affect him at home. I'm stressed because my husband, my partner in everything is coming home and while I want to spend his homecoming with him and our kids, there are people who feel as though it is important for them to welcome him home. I get it. He's been away deployed and everyone wants to see he him. It would be fine except we are a 13 hour drive or several states away from where we once called home. Our vistors would be out of towners and I don't want to entertain and I don't want to send my kids off with people to go see stuff so I can have "alone time" with my husband. I want to spend every waking moment soaking in as much time as I possibly can with him and our family because we will never be able to be together for those 8 months we spent apart. I want to do stuff as a family. And just in case you think I'm trying to dismiss "alone time" as though it holds no importance let me tell you that there is a reason our kids are in bed ASLEEP by 7:30 pm!
It sounds selfish. And maybe it is. But I deserve to have that time with my husband and our kids. He served our great nation, in a war zone and while we're trying to figure out how to transition two extreme roles back into a "normal" lifestyle, I don't need outsiders to take a front row seat. I understand that because my husband is military it takes us out of the "normal" category but look at it this way. When is the last time someone has wanted to welcome home someone eles's husband from a business trip? (Ahem, given that there wasn't a mistress of some sort! Yikes!) Even family at least waits a day or two before inviting them over for dinner. Hell, they might even just give him a call to see how his trip was. But to welcome him home and take away time from his family, it gets me wondering who the selfish ones are.
Then come the logistics of even pretending to entertain the idea of having guests. First of all, I'm not witholding his homecoming date! I have a window and then if I'm lucky I'll get a two day notice of when he will actually be home and then it will change 5 more times and he won't get in until hours after the final scheduled time. I may have an idea of when he'll be home HOWEVER, I can't tell you anything! It's operational security. I refuse to risk the lives of hundreds of militay because someone wants to know when he's going to be back on American soil. People have gone months in the past without seeing him with just a phone call here and there to keep in touch but now because he's been deployed all the sudden it's different, it's a big deal that they haven't seen him because they just can't live without him!
But me I'm just supposed to sit back and let everyone spend my time with the man I love all because we wears this countries uniform. I don't think so. The military may come first but family is next in line. So everyone who wants to see him can schedule a visit at a later date. We love you, but we love each other first.
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